The Nottingham Connection

June 28, 1998-just 50 years from the day when the Class of 1948 last passed across the stage of Nottingham High School; a sweet little old lady sits down in her atom-powered rocking chair, breathes a sigh, and tenderly opens the cover of her treasured class scrapbook. Do you recognize her? It's Jane Brown, class secretary, who, through all these years, has kept track of the achievements of her former classmates.

Her first glance falls on a newspaper clipping giving an account of Miss Constance Boettger's sensational debut at the Metropolitan. Next she notices a selection from the Science Digest, published by Bob Shulman and John Manwell, describing the cure for cancer discovered by Ann Silverman while working in the laboratories of Baker and Becker.

She reminisces over the following headlines:
-Ann Setright, Sue Marsh, Bill Burrows, Larry Braybrook compete in 1960 Olympics.
-Freddie Kauffman Elected to Post of County Coroner.
-Leta Kupperman Wins Miss America Title; Her Court Consists of Connie Mahoney, Mary Lou Fielder, Marilyn Burns, Tovia Friedman.
-Elaine Ullman First Woman Appointed to U. S. Supreme Court, to Serve Under Chief Justice James E. Taylor.
-Robert Murray Sweeps Mayoralty Election; Robert Hayward Sweeps County Court House.
-Nottingham Eleven Romps to City Championship Under Coach Grampa Green.

The alarm clock radio, which is always set for Jack Bergstrom's news program, automatically turns on, and the voice of the commentator comes booming over the air:

"Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. North and South America and all the atom boats and rocket ships in the stratosphere! Let's go to press! Flash!

"Here is the latest news from Stolzville on the planet Mars-A new element, Bernstonium, has just been discovered by Dr. Jeanne Plattus.

"Latest word from U. N. Secretary-General Herbert Kirsch is that a motion has been made by U. S. delegate Lindsay Hopes that the newly discovered planets, Venture and Foliate, and their surrounding moons and satellites be admitted immediately to U. N. membership.

"The Glassey Award for Scientific Advancement has just been awarded to Doctors Charles Harlow and Allan Hurwitz for their amazing cure for Viruses A through Z.

"And now a note of human interest-Gerald Spector, that collector of outdated items, is found to be the owner of the only running 1948 Cadillac convertible in existence.

"And I leave you with this little word of wisdom, if I may be so bold: Use Shirley Pabst's Blue Ribbon Hand Lotion-the only hand lotion with a head on it."

"Now, folks, the Kassing Kennels Korporation and Dog Biscuit Organization brings you that refreshing program of vital human interest-Kibitzing with Kay Kellogg. Go ahead, Kay. .."

"Get out your pads and pencils, little ones, you'll want to take notes on what I have to say today!

"My first exclusive-We've just heard from Monte Carlo-Vann, where rumor has it that the well-known Cazenovia playboy Robert Constable is about to take the nuptial vows once again with, and get this, girls, Miss Sharon Lee Patrick, granddaughter of the drippingly wealthy oil magnate, Don Patrick. The honeymooners are expected to fly to Hart's Hacienda nestled in the picturesque Markham Mountains.

"My second exclusive-Mary Phillips, last practicing advocate of the famous Bush Method, has retired from the teaching profession and will now reside at the Dorris Rohl-in Rest Home.

"My third exclusive-Ducky Drake, owner of the Webbed Foot Yacht Club, recently had a party on his yacht, the Goosey Ganders. Among the glamorous women and the men of distinction attending were Tom Quinlan, Barbara Ralph, John Beesley, Soralyn Jerome, David Keiper, and Betty Clark.

"This isn't exclusive-but, whether you want a cuddly little pup or a ferocious big watchdog, come to the Kassing Kennels, where Julius Wollen, our expert dog-man, will give free advice."

As the doorbell rings, the radio automatically turns off. Our visitors are the Saturday Afternoon Knit-Wit Society, members being Mary Moore, Cathy Bahr, Janet Bradley, Joan Baldwin, Renee Branse, Harry Siegelman, Nancy Eichorn, and Audrey Shapero. Candidates for membership are Marilyn Packard and Jack Gardner. The project decided on for the month of July is argyle socks for Butz Birnbaum (size 14), Cyril Freeman, and Larry Wallace.

Soon their fingers and lips are moving simultaneously:

"Did you hear that Maggie Angelakos's daughter won the Annual National Speed Typewriting Trophy last week? Remember when she won it back in 1956?"

"Wasn't it marvelous that Nancy Baker was appointed fashion editor of Vogue and Veigel Magazine?"

"And did anyone hear Town Meeting the other night? Beth Furman and Adam Gaus spoke on the topic 'Should the Ides of March be moved to September'! "

"Sue Phillips called me the other day to ask when we're going to have a joint meeting with her bridge club-you know, the one with Mimi Oct, Connie Minro, Janice Marvin, and Onnie Cohen."

"And have you seen the portrait of Alaster Kelly painted by Naomi Cohn in Ken Kenny's Jewelry Store with supplies from the Roz Carmen Supply Company brought over in Carl's Vann and Eddie's Carr? That (and this sentence, too) is a real masterpiece! "

"And did you know that Babs Clark, head nurse at the Golian Hospital, has been taking donations for the Walter Damon Runyon Hospital Fund?"

Suddenly the "Big Ben Stuenzi" strikes five, and the party ascends to the roof where one of Milt Rubenstein's fleet of heliocopter-cabs is waiting to take them to dinner. And as time passes, so do they, don't we all, and we hope this does, too!

THE END